Woman Hurts Nice Guy, Fears Remaining Alone Forever
DEAR GODSCRIBE:
I broke up with the same boyfriend four times in four years. Each time he convinced me that we could work together, but after a while, I’d get bored and want more [from a relationship].
I can’t stand that I’ve wounded him and feel so much guilt for it. Will I remain alone for fear of hurting people?
Signed, Hurt from Hurting
DEAR HURT:
Needing from a relationship that which you cannot get from yourself is the problem, not your inability to handle hurting someone.
You’re so sure you’re the nice guy, you can’t stand the bitch you can be when you want something that isn’t there.
Take yourself seriously enough to know that only you can give yourself what you want.
Until then, you’ll just keep feeling sorry every time you have to hurt a man when he doesn’t give you what you think you need from him.
Note to Men: Beware of this kind of woman. You’ll never please her until she learns to please herself.
When you start to get from you, what you now expect a man to be for you, you will finally attract the kind of man who doesn’t get hurt so easily.
As it is, you want a man to hold you when you’re blue, and then when he’s not manly enough for you, he stops being of use to you.
This is common for some women to do who don’t know courage, in times of her own weakness.
So, she’ll use a nice guy to nuzzle up to when she’s lonely and insecure, and then toss him on his ear when he’s not tall and firm in the saddle. Answer? Don’t seek a man for comfort, find your strength within you, and then you’ll attract the strong man who won’t bore you.
Learn what it means to be a good woman, instead of trying to find the good man. The good one will come when you have given him the proper way to be, by being in yourself what you want to see in him.
Thank you Sondra — that reply is chock full of useful advice for ALL women who want to be in (or are in!) a relationship!! Good stuff for sure :o)
With appreciation,
SL
I completely agree, SL. It was really hard to give this advice because the one who wrote the question is such a sweet friend of mine.
God can sure layout the work we have to do on ourselves; and without pity.
Pity only goes to those who don’t pity themselves. In this case it’s the nice guy that got dumped.
xo, Sondra