How a Spender Attracts her Spendthrifty Mates
Dear Godscribe:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years.
We were each married 17-19 yrs with our first spouses.
My first husband was very spendthrifty, and even though we both worked and made good money, there were many elements of my life where I still felt like college students.
For example, when we first got married, we bought a cheap coffee table and entertainment cabinet.
I never liked it. It was supposed to be just a three-year purchase.
He still owns the set 26 years later.
My current boyfriend has the same tendency. He is cheap.
And yet he has more than enough money to have beautiful things.
It’s always about “the deal” for him. Even Christmas presents are from Groupon.
What is it about me that attracts men with difficulty spending money?
Dear Spendy,
There is never a good time to be funny when the comedy is on you.
So forgive us when we say you are not to blame but to boast, about the reason for this comical refrain:
The story of Spendy and Stingy:
Spendy and Stingy live in a tree.
They count the nuts equally and then divide among the three.
“Two for you and one for me,” says Spendy.
“No, two for me and one for you,” says Stingy.
But when Stingy and Spendy get married, each has three.
Nice Things VS. Empty Pockets
Spendy and Stingy are marriageable types.
Because Stingy wants nice, but can’t have nice without Spendy.
Spendy likes secure but won’t have secure unless Stingy is around to help.
This complementary relationship is with all those women and men who make great partnerships and need each other for those complimentary ways.
You may have to grovel for a pittance from Stingy, but you’ll at least know that what is there is as good as steady.
Those who can’t receive will attract those who can’t give! Been there! No complement here…just pain.
Dear Jackie,
Unfortunately, that’s not always so. Sometimes and more commonly, the opposite is true.
Those who can’t receive are bombarded by those who try to give. Because it is those who give without concern for how much, who will be constantly given the rejection they need, to stop giving so much.
Whenever someone gives without cause, they force the one who cannot receive, to reject them. This rejection is what the giver is drawing because they give in order not to be rejected.
In your case, however, when you’re unable to receive and you’re put in the hands of a stingy non-giver, it’s their rejection of your need that you’re trying to work out.
The soul wants to be given to from the one who loves. But when you don’t give to yourself, you cannot teach another how to give, either. When making what you need your own concern and not the other’s affair, you learn an independent spirit, which entitles you to your own gifts, and no one else needs to attract for you, what you can give to yourself. The training, to give to one’s self, is why the soul attracts what will not give.
This is great news because it means you’re in control. You can give to you, and as you love you, the one in you that you love, the one that gives to you, is your own gift to enjoy from you.
Ah, a precious thought, indeed. xo, Sondra
Beautiful and absolutely relevant to me today! Thank you! : )
I’m so happy to hear that, Mana!