Manifest: Desire Not, Want Not
My question relates to a recent insight I had.
I’ve realized that what I desire in my life is not a matter of time, but a matter of being ready to receive.
Because it seems some opportunities and partnerships are a little out of reach.
So I wonder, how do I manifest what I desire most?
There is nothing about life that requires you to be ready for “it” to appear.
Name one thing in your life where you were ready when it showed up.
The reason, however, you had such an insight was to give yourself a break from all of your desiring.
Your soul said, “enough already, let’s have some joy!” The soul knows you can’t get joy wanting things you don’t have.
So what’s the real answer to having?
As the Buddhists say, stop wanting. You can’t have what you desire and “want” it at the same time.
The nature of “want” is a frequency counter to existence. It means “non-existing”. I want, therefore I don’t hold.
So, every “want” is a “don’t have.”
To Not Desire is Not to Require
Haven’t you noticed that it’s when you don’t want a man you get one, and when you don’t want a job you find one?
This mystery is no accident.
To get to that place of no desire, about the things you want, you first have to look deep into your worst-case-scenario.
And be okay with it.
Find that one corner of the world where what you desire now, no longer has to be.
Decision Outranks Desire
When Sondra achieved “no more desire for a man,” it was because she’d already had her fill with them and said, “Men be damned! They all suck, I don’t need one!”
And she meant it.
This decision took all the pressure off of us. We could finally bring to her something greater than the crazy picture of love for which she had been asking.
We knew she had no idea who would suit her best.
She had desired men who desired her, but for all the wrong reasons.
However, when she shut herself away from men because she was tired of being burned by them, she was free to love herself plenty well enough without one.
And that’s the real trick.
To love who you are well enough to not need anything from a relationship, business partnership, or financial opportunity means you’re not expecting those things to be what makes you a success.
When relationships and money don’t define what you will and won’t achieve, you’ll seek only that which is you, at your best alone, “sovereign.” (adjective: acting or done independently and without outside interference)
In Sondra’s case about men, she finally allowed the picture of her life to be happy enough without a man’s antics.
Her best-self became self-contained, no longer desiring something outside of herself to approve her.
The more you keep your eyes on the best self, rather than the lack-self, the more your lack disappears into the ‘plenty,’ the ‘good enough,’ and the ‘best I can do.’
And if you think this sounds like settling, it is.
But not for reasons of not caring, it is settling for reasons that are ‘good enough’ because even without it you are good enough.
Wilting flowers do not cause suffering. It is the desire that they not wilt which causes suffering.
— Thich Nat Hahn, Budhhist monk