An “Alpha” Male Competes by Disrespecting Boundaries, Exhausting a Senior Colleague
There’s a man in my office that I can best describe as an “alpha male.” I am female and among the top leaders.
Although he’s lower in the work hierarchy, he doesn’t work for me. But he gives me a hard time.
For one, he falsely accuses me of breaking rules and reports me to my supervisor.
He spreads misinformation about me to my peers and subordinate staff. He doesn’t respect me nor my boundaries and finds even the smallest reason to point out where I’ve come up short in his eyes.
I’m doing my best to stay centered and strong, however, in my interactions with him I try to be respectful toward him and still honor my boundaries, but I’m exhausted from dealing with him every day.
What can I do?
Signed: Irritated and Annoyed
You are a successful woman. This pisses him off. Why?
Because he thinks you had to have done something underhanded to get where you are. Why you ask, does he assume that?
Well, you won’t like the answer because it won’t help your feelings of aggression toward him, but it will at least help you get some objective leverage. Also, you’ll understand what you can do to cut this competitor off at the pass. Otherwise, he could rob your courage and fortitude.
First, see him as always “needling” you. Needling you means pricking.
To prick your finger will not kill or maim but annoy. So, we call this kind of character a “pricker” or “prick”.
Prick is not a member of the male anatomy. Pricking is a way that males behave in competition.
Although the percentage of pricks per cluster of males is low, it only takes one to ruin your opinion of them all.
Alphas in Leadership
Alpha leaders do not behave as pricks. Leaders know what they are that succeeds. Leaders love the success of their mentors, learn from leadership roles above them. Although they may jockey for attention, they don’t do so at the risk of someone’s job.
It is a lack of self-esteem that causes his underhanded form of getting ahead.
Low self-regard combined with ambition will make him a dangerous man when he gets to top positions. He will overlord himself to anyone trying for top positions from underneath him.
If I were you, I would keep him in your periphery. Not with regard to how he will bother you but how he treats others, male and female.
I would allow him to show himself by asking him one question, “where do you want to be in five years?”
By asking that question, he will inadvertently realize he wants your job.
When you give him assurance that he could have your job as you move up, you will get total compliance, and the prick will become a worm.
Better a worm wanting your job than a prick.