“LISTEN TO YOUR THOUGHTS SERIES”
Be what you are designing (action),
Instead of what you wish (no action)”
The links take you to my blog posts on the title topics
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- Make the conscious decision to listen to your thoughts
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Listen to how often you beat yourself up
- Listen to how often you betray yourself
- Listen to how often you forget to love
- Listen to the judgments you make
- Listen to what you think you’re not good at
- Listen to how you mock those who try to be their best
- Listen to those you want to be like, and see what it is they are doing that you already do
- Listen to the way people are talking to you in your mind
- Listen to why you always use your frustration to end your state of calm
Where in the world do you live when you live in your thoughts?
There is no end to where your mind can go when you learn to bring your mind to your heart. The heart’s mind is the window into God and into the existence of the entire space/time continuum.
If this is so, where are you living when your thoughts are telling you that you are stupid, ridiculous, strange, or without belonging? You are dwelling within the brain.
The brain cannot compute the nature of self-love. It has no concept of self.
Self comes from a precious worthiness. And that worthiness is a creation of God within you.
Whether you believe in God or not does not matter in this case, because you can have a sense of precious self even without a concept of the one who made you. You simply have to align to the knowing that you were made for a reason and this reason is “Self” made. Which is why your thoughts can make you into something you are not.
This is what we call “beating yourself up,” when you are making yourself into an unworthy state.
Because you are a worthy being, anytime you have made yourself unworthy, you are turning yourself into something you are not. That requires a beating down of what is.
THOUGHTS THAT BEAT YOU UP – AND WHY THEY BEAT:
“What did I do that for?”
As if you are stupid or unworthy for having done something.
“What is the reason I’m not good at _____?”
As if looking for the unworthiness in you that makes this so.
“What is the reason I don’t love enough?”
As if something you feel about another is a reflection of what you are not, rather than your own need to feel what you think you cannot give.
“What do I have to do to be worthy of _____’s attention?”
As if you aren’t already worthy, but have to be something that you are not.
“What is the reason I have to be treated with unkindness from _____?”
As if you did something or are something unworthy of another’s goodness.
“Where do I have to be in life before I can be happy?”
As if being happy is related to something you are not.
“When I have done/achieved ______, I will be happy.”
As if being happy is the result of something you must do.
When you think you are or must be something other than what you are, to be worthy of happiness or kindness, then you are beating yourself up for what you are not right this minute.
When you open yourself to the unkindness of another as if you are the reason for their unkindness, you are beating yourself up for being someone they cannot be kind to.
When you think that your unkindness to another is because you are not kind enough, or cannot love enough, you are beating yourself up for forgetting who you are, instead of listening to your errors as an opportunity to know yourself better.
THOUGHT RECONSTRUCTION:
“I know I have done something to make this person feel badly, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to be that kind of person, I will do better when I see them next.”
“I know I have things to learn yet to achieve the goals I have set for myself. And I am getting better everyday as I learn more and more.”
“I believe there are times in my heart when I feel unworthy, and when I feel that way I know I often speak to others as if they have wounded me. But I know I can find what my wounds are, when I do behave that way, so maybe if I study the wound, I can free it from my behavior.
“When I look at my wounds, and show sensitivity to them, I can forewarn the person who injures me with their behavior. I can tell them I am sensitive about the way they behave. Maybe they’ll not behave that way next time, but I won’t depend on it, in order that I may learn to avoid them or avoid being sensitive to the way they behave.”
The way these thoughts are reconstructed is that you remain responsible for what happens to your feelings. At the same time you are not blaming yourself for the entirety of the infraction upon the self. You are simply telling yourself that you don’t wish to feel a certain way. And the “reasons” for the way you feel don’t matter.
The reasons for why you are wounded don’t matter, because you can change the way you see yourself, rather than trying to dig into some past of unworthiness in order to find a way to blame yourself for what you are not yet.
Being true to what you are means loving where you are as you are. Not trying too hard to fix what happened but instead forgive yourself for what you didn’t see the first time.
Forgiving yourself for what you are not yet is the easiest way to soothe the ache of a beat up self.
Don’t forget to comment about thoughts that beat you up, double your chance to win a free reading! Winner will be chosen at the end of January!
I’m sorry Susie, but you are so wrong about it not being important to dig up the reasons from the past of why we feel wounded. It is of prime importance to understand why we have the fears and limitations we have adopted, and then present a re-frame of why it wasn’t out real selves but just a projection of all of our parent’s fears. Then you can lay down the foundation of building up a new self-worth from a soul perspective.
Thanks for the Christmas message as well as the follow up on thoughts. It seems our external landscape seems to reflect our inner landscape.
I’ve been wondering about your initial comments on survival and the direction we are taking with our environment and food. I haven’t seen anything else on that subject. I suppose that is also a reflection on our inner condition, so the focus on the inner will unravel the rest of our situations.
Thanks,
Steve
“…a reflection on our inner condition,” indeed it is, Steve. There will be more formal conversations on the topic of food, environment, future farming techniques, evolved sustainability conversations, and so much more, when a good connection with those who are most involved on the topic show up in our network. We have yet to make those contacts, but I do see it in the future, somehow, some way! Thank you for caring. Warmly, Sondra
I love your way of describing the details of “How thoughts beat you up….and why they beat”. It’s the why part that worked to grab my attention and engage the sadness in my emotional place. After my session with you Sondra my eyes and ears became wide open to HOW the thought, “What do I have to do to be worthy of……’s attention permeated my life. It’s a heavy burden to have carried the sadness of forgetting myself and my needs for as long as I have. However, I am releasing the past and moving forward more easily. I’ve been eating better, sleeping more, checking myself in relationships, feeling more content, conscious of others giving to me and loving myself and recognizing more of when God is in process of waking me up to how s/he reminds me of who I AM. I also know it’s me who is responsible for removing the “who I am NOT”.
I have always been good at beating up myself. I can be too sensitive to others comments and let them disturb me. Working hard at talking to myself using language that I would use to encourage a friend or a child. I want them to value their worthiness, so why not me too!
So why not indeed! I would suggest that instead of addressing yourself as a child or friend, address the mind as a separated being from the being you are. Meaning, as the observer of thoughts that drive your higher self out of your picture of yourself, you can have two views of yourself – the lesser and the greater. The greater you talks directly to the lesser you to give her constructive advice on how she should behave if she wants others to notice her higher being. This means you can go past the chaos of childhood, and past the judgements of friendship, and go deep into your own God-self as you climb up into your own higher nature.
What I’m suggesting isn’t easy, nor is it complex. It is a simplification of self in order to see past the experiences you have on earth. This gives the soul structure, and the spirit importance.
Good job! 🙂 Sondra
The “beat up me” thoughts I categorize also as DOUBTS….so I have been paying attention to how I can DOUBT the DOUBTS!! It helps a lot and keeps me a teeny weeny bit more anchored in what IS! Thank you!
Wow, that’s some serious insight, Cat. To doubt your doubts is to really put a spin on your hypnosis. Our thoughts can put us in a spell, and to turn your mind back in on itself and question your doubts?! WoWEE! That’s some gooood work. I love it!
Hi Sondra! At the time you sent this email, I was listening to my recording of our session which, by the way, I enjoyed very much. I know it is very important not to put the blame on ourselves during certain situations. I feel when someone is verbally angry, they are angry with themselves not me. I do feel at times that I don’t know how and where to begin my journey. I learned a long time ago, not to beat myself up because it’s not going to get me anywhere but more confused and not clear on my intention. Our conversation was so life changing for me to find out my soul’s purpose, that after all these years, why didn’t I know or feel this before (maybe through a dream, thought or something else). Blessings…
Gina, thank you so much for mentioning that. Don’t you love the 1 2 punch that gives your spirit?! Don’t think for a moment there isn’t some orchestration going on in Spirit for your success, because this is how it all ties in beautifully. <3
Oh how many times have we all done this….playing the same dialogue over again, it becomes repetitious! Thank you for reminding us of what we all do…Needing to listen to the dialogue that we say both out loud and internally. Reminding us to praise ourselves for who we truly are! I am LOVE, You are LOVE. We are all LOVED by GOD and need to remember that it all lies within our souls…Our souls are constantly telling us this, we need to remember to truly listen. We need to remember to forgive, for that is so important. Thank you so much for this.
You’re so welcome, Nonica. “Loved by God” is truly at the heart of self love, because if you have enough imagination to believe in such a great being as one who loves you as you are, and says that S/He made you the way you are, and you see in that your own perfection, then finding that moment, “I am loved by God” will relieve you of any doubt about your own love of self. Good work! A+
Thank you. My sister
and you my sister.
Thank you. Strange how spirit works, or maybe not! This morning I was thinking about self and worthyness as my morning prep and then opened your email about just that. It gave me more food for thought and I am grateful.
Joce2230, no not strange at all. Spirit probably foreshadowed this email for you, so that you would take notice of it. It happens all the time to me when I do readings for people. There will be something really complex about an individual’s soul I’m supposed to relate in a reading, and a couple days before the reading I’ll “randomly” click on a video or website that helps me with the words I’m to summon for the message. Always nice to meet a fellow intuitor – Spirit is obviously talking to you and you are listening!
These past 2 weeks I’ve been dealing with feelings of victimization and depression. I see how it is an addiction to not feeling my inner pain. To avoiding taking responsibility for my feelings.
It’s like I’m locked in a dark cycle. There seems to be a cloud over my head. My thinking is foggy. I feel terrible inside my body. I’m numb and dazed.
I begin to notice what is going inside my head. I’m blaming and judging harshly as a way of controlling myself, my situation and my external environment. Any stimulation coming at me from the environment I take personally. I try to reject it by withdrawing from the world. I refuse to face it.
This avoidance, constant vigilance, and misinterpretation of the external makes me feel very disconnected and unsafe.
I begin to notice these thoughts and how harsh the critic is.
I begin to see how much havoc is getting created in my body from this type of thinking.
I begin to see how I am addicted to these types of thoughts. How I would rather have these feelings than deal with, accept and embrace my deep inner pain of loneliness and helplessness.
The more I become aware of and acknowledge these feelings of loneliness and helplessness with love, compassion and kindness the more connected and calm I begin to feel, the critic subsides and the fogginess clears.
The more I do this the more I see how that wounded part of me is trying to protect me in the best way it knows how. This allows me to love and release that part of me of its burden.
Hi Pavlos! Absolutely. When you feel victimized it’s usually because you’re not able to see responsiblity. People mistake that for blaming the victim, but it has nothing to do with blame. It has to do with freedom. Being free to be whomever you wish to be, means taking responsiblity for whatever happens in your life, and more importantly, whatever thoughts about those things that come to mind.
But if I can get personal with you for a moment. Your inner pain is not what you are missing. You are missing the culpability of others, which needs to be mentioned to your spirit. It’s not that you aren’t responsible for how you feel, you are, sure, but the other is also responsible for being a jerk.
Letting go of how you allow someone to treat you is your responsiblity, but it is also your responsiblity to say to them, “I will never trust you with my heart again until you learn to treat me with the preciousness my creator does.” Pavlos deserves to be treated kindly, and with trust and dignity. You’re not throwing a pity party, you have been hurt, and the wound will only heal as you see someone treated you wrongly, and you did nothing to deserve it.
Aww, Mary, so many truths and so humbly you notice yourself. You’re a beautiful heart.
Susie, that is a great way to look at it, “in terms of who I am” – the I am here represents the inward alert instead of the outward offense. Good job!
When I first saw this topic. I thought oh this will be easy I can beat myself up like the best of them. I am my own worst critic. But, since my last soul reading, I haven’t beat myself as much or as harshly. I can’t beat myself cause God is watching me.. 🙂 But, I have moments or the same tape playing about being in lack. What job should I apply for so I can live comfortably and still be able to have weekends off bla bla or how can I get a newer car without money. I now see I’m looking for unworthiness. Or looking for something on the outside to be happy. I need to ask and listen. I am worthy and accept that I am. It’s ok to be gentle with Mary. 😉
It is really helpful to look at / interpret situations in terms of who I am and my innate worthiness not being affected by these
right on, Susie!